


The Tale of Two Socks

by Mortiferum



Series: Yoonkook week 19 [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Bad Jokes, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, F/F, Genderswap, Grumpy Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 04:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17739092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortiferum/pseuds/Mortiferum
Summary: "She's a goddamn asari.""Flash news: asari can have relationships, you dumbass."





	The Tale of Two Socks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KingShisui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingShisui/gifts).



> Okay but what if: asari!Kookie. 
> 
> vmon and yoonkook are girls, yes, I do love femslash (and asari)
> 
> If my googling skills are not that much shitty, Taehyeon (태현 ) is both a female and male name, it also can be written as Taehyun, but I didn't want anyone to think I just dropped the last letter in Taehyung's name, lol.  
> Also, if the information is still correct, 남주 (Namjoo) is an existing female name, and though it can be written as Namju, I don't like this form for some reasons, so it would be Namjoo, as if I forgot about "n" in the end, yup.

The smile Taehyeon had on her face wasn't promising anything good — not that grinning Taehyeon was ever any good, and she was, most of the time, but no one listened to Yoonji, as usual, though she wasn't joking when suggested to leave this _mean_ , ungrateful, bratty helmswoman on some godforsaken planet to—

"Yes, I love you too, Yoons, no need to kill me with your gaze, sweetie," she smiled, placing herself (without any permission) next to Yoonji. 

"I didn't invite you here." 

"I simply gotta check my favorite sister-in-law," she leaned on Yoonji, pinning her down to her bed. 

Taehyeon's smile was so bright (and shitty, but) Yoonji found herself biting her lips not to smile in return. Despite being younger, Taehyeon cared little about boundaries and simple respect, as if her being good with computers, maps, physics, and math could compensate her unbearable brattiness. Bothering Yoonji was one of her dumbest decisions, for sure, since Yoonji was big (small, actually) and scary (this one's true) Vanguard, and Taehyeon was just a _pilot_. Okay, one hell of a pilot, Flight Lieutenant and all, and the life of the crew depended on her as much as on offensive team and other officers but still.

"Being married to Joon doesn't give you a permission to pester me every time she's too busy to babysit you, you know," Yoonji tried to shove Taehyeon off. "I need some stuff to do, let me go." 

"And let me guess, this 'stuff' means loitering around our scientists or the medical bay just to stare at Kookie, eh?" Taehyeon giggled and tried to tickle Yoonji, making her lose her pride, because as soon as Taehyeon's fingers laid on her sides, she started to not so gracefully squirm and chirp, trying to slap her _sister-in-law_ 's hands away.

"Her name is not Kookie, she's a goddamn asari," Yoonji grumbled, turning onto her stomach. 

Taehyeon didn't hesitate and perched on Yoonji's butt, pinching her buttock enough to make Yoonji whine and hit her bed, as if it somehow would help her get free of Taehyeon's death grip. In times like these, Yoonji seriously doubted her luck to be adopted into Kim family; she loved Namjoo, loved her stepparents, but if she remained one of the forgotten orphans she wouldn't have to deal with _this_. Okay, Taehyeon was not that bad, she was smart, she was incredibly, breathtakingly, almost too much to be real, beautiful, had a great deep voice (though she loved some really old stuff, like jazz songs from the Old Earth, who on _Earth_ liked them anymore?), Singularity couldn't ask for a better navigator, but ever since Namjoo saw her in that bloody restaurant in the Citadel she wouldn't shut up about her, and it was Yoonji who had to find that _oh my, eonnie, look, she's so, so— I mean—_ girl, so Namjoo could finally stop suffering from her stupid crush on some random girl. Yoonji, of course, had her fair share of messing with her sister about being a racist ( _honestly, Joonie, why would you fall for someone Asian, where's your love for everyone now_ ), but in the end helped them get together and even shed a tear or two on their wedding, but made sure no one noticed her teary eyes, Taehyeon especially. 

"Nah, she's Kookie, I asked her name and that was the only part I could understand," Taehyeon lay on top of Yoonji, breathing heavily into her neck. "And someone has a crush." 

"I have not."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't." 

"So you love Jin instead?" she bit Yoonji's ear and cackled, obviously happy that she could get away with every wild shit pulled on Yoonji. 

"The fuck Jin has to do with any of this?" 

Jin — Kim Seokjin (another yet unanswered question about Namjoo's racial preferences) — was their Chief Medical Officer and Yoonji's favorite drinking buddy, mostly because he always, _always_ had some good booze he had been stealing from Namjoo (their Commander was well-loved enough to receive some gifts from people on colonies and planets she helped once) and higher command, and he was another Singularity's grump, a perfect person to shit on the rest of their crew, going on about ungrateful bastards and too much of gay tension. Seokjin wasn't allowed to leave Singularity because of his disgustingly handsome face and a habit of hitting on every single one attractive person he could lay his eyes on, which made him a father to at least two dozens of children, the fact he was extremely proud of, though he never met any of his offsprings, nor knew their names. 

"If you claim you don't have a crush on Kookie, then you have a crush on Jin," Taehyeon poked Yoonji's cheek, another one of her annoying habits. 

"I was gonna have a drink with him, you brat," Yoonji bucked up her hips, trying to shake Taehyeon off. 

"And cry over Kookie." 

"Go bother your own wife."

"Not as funny as bothering you," Tahyeon pressed down harder to leave a disgusting hickey on Yoonji's neck. "There, now she will be jealous. I just care for you, silly; you don't have any love life, while I'm a happy married woman. Have you even dated someone?" 

"None of your business."

Taehyeon was right, though — sure, her early days in the Alliance Navy were fun and full of experimenting, she's never gotten into something serious. 

"So you haven't."

"Shut up."

"Ugh, for fuck's sake, Yoonie," Taehyeon finally rolled on her back. "Trust me, she likes you too. Her eyes, like, explode as supernova every time you walk into a room. She gets more talkative if you're around. That's why Joonie insisted on your presence." 

Kookie was an asari they rescued on a small abandoned planet by accident — instead of sending signals for help she was singing, and if it wasn't for Taehyeon they would've missed her. Kookie was young, a little more than a hundred years, with big doe eyes, that reflected stars and looked more like a dark sea, and skin so blue Taehyeon actually announced she would dye her hair so they two could be best friends. 

"She's an asari."

"Flash news: asari can have relationships, you dumbass," Taehyeon pinched Yoonji's cheek. "We won't be ashore forever, don't waste your time. Take her to the restaurant where we first met, well, where Joonie saw me for the first time. Kookie's sweet, she'll love it, because this place is personal to you." 

"Because you tried to rescue all of the fish from the tanks when you went on your first date with Joon?"

"That too," Taehyeon nodded seriously. "See, we got married after, the place has these marital vibes, you'll be alright." 

"Anyway, I'm gonna go see Jin. He's still on Singularity, right?"

"Yup. Surely, the Citadel doesn't need to see more of his kids."

"All of them should sign up in the Alliance. At least that would be helpful." 

"You think it's possible for a human to impregnate a krogan?" Taehyeon asked suddenly.

"Has he... been with a krogan?"

"Still want to see him?" 

"I need to vent, so yes," Yoonji shrugged. "Make sure you lock the door on your way out." 

 

The Citadel was as busy as always, creatures from different corners of the universe snooping around, too loud, too messy for Yoonji's liking, but she was alone in her opinion — the rest of the crew was always happy to stretch their legs on a more steady ground. Singularity was spacious, but as time went by, there was no unknown corner or hall or screw in the wall. Yoonji was content, she liked Singularity and her quiet quarters, she had enough time walking on actual ground to want to stay in the Citadel longer than needed. At least, no one tried to kill her here. Yet. 

Singularity wasn't abandoned, engineers and other tech staff were always there, as well as someone, who couldn't afford their own place in the Citadel or didn't want to stay in hotels. And there, of course, was Seokjin. 

Despite being literally banned from anywhere outside Singularity, Seokjin managed to act like he owned at least the Milky Way and considered himself one true king of Singularity (while Namjoo, obviously, was just a kid he let play captain). 

"Well, isn't it my least hated member of this merry band of misfits!" he greeted Yoonji as she said her usual "Hey", waving a bottle in her hand. 

"Planning to murder Joon, huh?" 

Seokjin was looking down in the microscope, various tubes lying beside; Yoonji doubted she wanted to know what was in them, although some of liquid content was beautifully colored. 

" _June_ had it coming. Forbidding me to visit bars — she could've cut my handsome face off as well, would've been less cruel," he huffed, purposefully using Namjoo's nickname.

For the sake of descendants of other races Namjoo went by the name of June and Yoonji loved to tease her while they were kids, yet the pet name — Joonie — stuck down completely, even the crew members called her that behind Namjoo's back, because it was cute, just as Namjoo herself.

"Really shouldn't have impregnated that krogan," Yoonji found herself a chair — awfully white, as the rest of the medical bay. 

"I would've if you would be able to find me a krogan woman first, you idiot," Seokjin gave her a finger. "Stop listening to Tae, she's probably regretting her sexual choices, knowing she can never have me."

"Watch yourself, she's married to my sister."

"And if you're threating me, I have a poison just in case," Seokjin waved a tube angrily, but it wasn't the first time he promised to poison someone. "Anyway, there's a bet and I have every intention on winning it." 

"What bet?"

"How soon you and Kookie will get together," Seokjin rolled his eyes, annoyed. "And give me that shit, ain't planning on sharing with you, my bay — my rules."

Yoonji grumbled but let go of the bottle. Not that she hadn't heard that whispers behind her back — it was practically impossible to hide something on the ship, but since the crew was like a family, there was no need in it. 

"You proposed it, didn't you, asshole?"

"Nah, that was Jimin and Hoseok, this cute couple of tech guys, they are a part of the team responsible for our defense, in case you don't know them," Seokjin gracefully placed himself on top of the table, sweeping away medical records of one of the officers.

"I know who they are; I'm surprised you know them."

"Please, I know very hot piece of ass on this bloody ship," he looked almost offended.

They sat in silence for a while, before Seokjin finally gave up and mumbled something about Yoonji being in debt for the rest of her life and poured her bourbon. Yoonji gratefully nodded and took a sip. 

"No pressure and all, but you'd better woo over Kookie quickly," said Seokjin, pointing his crooked finger at Yoonji. "June is betting against you, sure that you would never hook up with not human, and if she wins we own her a bunch of fucking hamsters. And she owns seventeen already. Seventeen! I'm a doctor, not a fucking vet." 

"Save your money, then, I doubt she even likes me."

Seokjin pursed his lips, looking at Yoonji with a mild disappointment in his eyes, as if his child had just said something stupid, but since it was his child, he loved them anyway. 

"First, you're stupid. Second, no, no more hamsters, tell Tae to make her a fucking baby. Third, you're stupid."

"Thanks for the encouragement," Yoonji cheered gloomily, "but we hardly talk in private, she always looks nervous and keeps finding stupid reasons to leave. Fucking Kookie, fuck my hairy ass!"

"If you have a hairy ass, then I wouldn't be too keen on dating you either. Also, you might wanna keep it down, she's in the next room."

"What? Why is she here?" Yoonji hissed, reaching to kick Seokjin, though in was completely pointless — he shrieked and lifted his legs and the only thing Yoonji hit was his fucking table. 

"Where else is she supposed to be? I understand the kid doesn't have any family, which is strange. Or maybe she's hiding," Seokjin shrugged. 

"Wouldn’t care even if she'd be Ardat-Yakshi, I wanna— I want my brain to be smashed with her mind, look in her fucking eyes, she's sooo beautiful," Yoonji sobbed a little, an empty glass falling out of her hand.

"You're drunk," Seokjin stated.

"Shouldn't have pour me this fucking bourbon like it's some tea, you bitch." 

"Or maybe not so much, if you still can insult me." 

He jumped down from the table and made his way to one of the glass cabinets, shoving Yoonji with the chair aside. Seokjin grunted a little, mostly going on about Yoonji being a disgrace to their friendship and a weak baby, who else can get shitfaced after only four glasses, doesn't matter they were all full, these Vanguards, only good in talking shit and bragging.

"So this is what you're gonna do," Seokjin threw a small vial at Yoonji. "Drink this and sober the fuck up, and when you're done, you're gonna wear this." 

He shook his hand with black over knee socks.

"No fucking way," said Yoonji after finishing whatever distasteful mixture Seokjin gave her; she was more then sure he made it on purpose. 

After Namjoo restricted his love life, Seokjin began his experiments, and his sobering shit was widely demandable despite its taste; everyone knew it was his petty revenge on Namjoo, but his attempt to annoy her backfired — Namjoo rarely drank and never to the point of oblivion, so there was no need in Seokjin's Magic Brew, as he called it. 

"Very fucking way, do you even know how much time it took us to get your file and then choose the right ones for you?" he was coming closer, slowly approaching Yoonji, as if trying to catch her if she decides to flee.

"Us?"

"Me and Tae."

"Traitor," scoffed Yoonji, but she should've known better — no way Taehyeon would let her go without a fight under normal circumstances. 

"I'm not sorry for trying to fix your personal life, please, just wear them and ask Kookie out, I'm sick of her always snooping around and asking stupid questions about you." 

"She asks about me?"

"Yes, dumbass," Seokjin sighed. "She tries to be discreet though, so she has to ask about the rest of the crew and Singularity as well, but you should've seen her face when I tell her about you. Lights up like fucking Christmas lights."

Yoonji squeaked, completely sober this time but still flustered. It's been almost a month since they picked Kookie up, too little time to actually think through the I Like You Please Date Me encounter, but enough for others to notice Yoonji's not so secrete glares to start teasing her. She did want at least to talk like normal intelligent creatures they (probably) were and, after that, awkwardly ask her out, but the truth was — Yoonji was good at killing, not talking, and her liking the asari made her social awkwardness worse. 

"Wear. These," Seokjin began to slap Yoonji in the face with the over knee socks, determined to make her ask Kookie out — he hated Namjoo's hamsters _that_ much. 

"I don't own a skirt, fuck off," she was trying to evade his attacks, but angry Seokjin was more terrifying than a thousand Reapers. 

"Find yourself shorts, then."

"You see this? That's a fucking uniform. Ain't gonna change it." 

They stopped as they heard rummaging behind the door and then a soft knock. Which was completely unnecessary, since the doors in the medical bay were always opened (much to Seokjin's irritation), having motion sensors mounted in, but still, it was _cute_.

"I heard you screaming. Is everything alright?" If her sapphire-colored skin and big, galaxy-reflecting eyes weren't already a definition of cuteness overload, the way Kookie was clutching to the doorjamb, as if she was too afraid to interrupt in case she was wrong, made Yoonji's heart ache.

The over knee socks were still on Yoonji's shoulder and Seokjin's face was red, as if he was about to explode — clearly exactly the opposite of a state Yoonji wanted to be in in front of her crush. The next bottle of any alcohol would land on Seokjin's face and, hopefully, smash it into pieces, because if he doomed Yoonji to be alone he didn't deserve to get laid for the rest of his life. 

"Yeah, we're just fine," Seokjin pulled a smile. "Actually, Yoonji wants to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"If you just give us a minute," Seokjin waved his hand dismissively and Kookie, letting out a small "Oh" again, retreated. 

"The fuck you're doing," hissed Yoonji, throwing off the socks. 

"Helping you to get your life in order," Seokjin slapped her back. "Now go! And take these." 

"I'm gonna strangle you with these!" 

"Do it on her, maybe she'll like it." 

The walk to the next room — where Seokjin's research lab was located — took Yoonji forever and if it wasn't for overwatching Seokjin she would turn back and ran to Namjoo's apartment, hoping Taehyeon was hanging out with someone else, so she would have a shoulder to cry on without any sassy remarks. 

The heavy pound of her heart — two at each step — reminded of a death march, because Yoonji was so unprepared and scared, and feeling more drunk than sober (what the fuck did Seokjin give her?), and— 

The door slid silently, Seokjin gave Yoonji one last nudge, whispering almost soundless "Go", and she was alone with pacing the lab Kookie, who turned nervously, when Yoonji tried to smack Seokjin, giving her presence away. 

"Executive Officer," she nodded, biting her lip. 

"Just Yoonji," the voice was hoarse and Yoonji coughed to mask her embarrassment. 

Kookie looked just as nervous as she was, just less good at hiding it, and Yoonji smiled a little at the sight of asari swaying on her feet a little. 

"Okay, Yoonji. What do you want to talk about?"

Yoonji scratched her ear — she doubted Kookie would refuse her offer to go get something to eat, but she also doubted she would understand it wasn't just a friendly invitation; she wasn't trying to help Kookie to blend into the crew, like Taehyeon was, dragging her along. Maybe Yoonji had more problems than just sucking at basic communications, like, her secret love for asari — she had seen plenty of them, talked to at least a couple dozens, but something about Kookie made her heart flip silly and beat as a dove, trying to break free. 

"I, um—" Yoonji raised her hand to scratch her eyebrow this time, the over knee socks still in hand. 

"And what are these for?" asked Kookie innocently, leaning a little bit forward. 

Yoonji looked at them, as if calculating exactly how much damage a pair of socks can cause. 

"That's a— they are for moral support." 

Kookie chuckled, softly and gently, and Yoonji prayed she didn't blush, mentally thanking Seokjin for keeping his lab poorly lit when he wasn't working. 

"Anyway, I was wondering, um, maybe, if you want to, you can join me in, um, eating? With me? On the Citadel? Since, well, we're ashore," Yoonji was positively blabbering, mixing up words, coughing and stuttering way more than someone could tolerate, but Kookie just tilted her head, a small smile on her lips. 

"You didn't strike me as someone who might be interested in having lunch with an asari, Yoonji. If that's what you're offering." 

"I'm very interested in you, I mean, having lunch with you. Shit," Yoonji covered her face in embarrassment, finally letting go of Seokjin's socks. "Don't look at me, I'm ridiculous and probably still drunk." 

"On the contrary, I find you very cute, Executive Officer."

Kookie gently touched Yoonji's hands, carefully pulling them away from Yoonji's red face, making her shiver from cool and smooth sensation of asari's skin. How could she have skin so perfect and touchable?

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," she whispered, lowering herself a little, so their eyes would be on the same level. 

Yoonji was rather short and Taehyeon's favorite matter of jokes was Yoonji's love for sniper rifles that were almost as long as she was. Something about compensation, she would say laughing, until Yoonji would kick her ass. Kookie was almost a head taller, and Yoonji found this, unlike the rest of everything related to Kookie, extremely _hot_. Okay, maybe not exactly everything, there were her legs, her impossible, gorgeous legs—

"Yoonji? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm— yes," Yoonji exhaled. Kookie seemed to be amused. 

"So would you like me to accompany you while on shore leave?" she asked, touching Yoonji's elbow so lightly Yoonji might have imagined it. 

"I'd like that very much." 

A smile, shy at first but still sincere, bloomed on Kookie's lips; her eyes glistening in the dark mischievously. 

"I thought you'd never ask."

**Author's Note:**

> Yoonkook week, day 2.


End file.
